17 Jul Kryptonite
A dear friend asked me to post this story anonymously, as the party involved is – well – Kryptonite. Read on..
After our second date, I cried and asked God why HE would give me a temptation I could not resist.
Let me tell you about this temptation.
He is 6’3 – which means he is taller than me. And for a girl who is 5’9, I cannot tell you how exciting this is for me. He is dark and handsome. Very handsome. He looks nice in his clothes. Runs twice a week and goes to the gym. He is well groomed – that is, he keeps his nails short and clean, and his beard trimmed. He is both book and street smart. He is successful, not because he comes from a rich family, but because he has worked hard to get where he is. He is a man’s man, yet sensitive. He purposes to do good by people.
And he smells good.
I met him at a mall in Nairobi. He was leaving the gym and I was leaving a shop. We met by the elevator. We had met before, at a work event, where he had done some training for the organization I worked for. I remember thinking he was incredibly handsome, but since it was a work thing, our interaction was professional and we didn’t meet again.
Until this day at the mall.
I noticed him first, said hi and a conversation ensued. He took my number, but I didn’t think much of it, as I knew he was married. I moved on and went about my Saturday.
The following day, Sunday, if you are following the story 🙂 , I’m lying on the couch watching Netflix when I see a WhatsApp message. It’s him. We text the entire afternoon. He’s witty and makes me laugh out loud. He asks me to lunch, for the following day.
Now, I should have said no because as a saved girl, I should not have been getting myself into such a situation. It was clear that he was not saved, and to his credit, he did say that he had not been to church for a while and in fact does not go to church. That should have been my cue.
But, despite my better judgment, I went to lunch, and had a wonderful time. Might I add he looked really, really good. He complimented my watch. I loved it.
I let him know that I was saved and that my faith meant everything to me. We chatted for about an hour and then he said that he had another meeting.
Since I had expressed my love for Jesus, I didn’t think he would call me back. In some way, I hoped he would not call because I knew how I was already starting to feel, I was excited and very attracted to him and I knew, I think we ladies know, that it would only go downhill from there.
He reached out that night and again the following morning, and invited me to his office. I declined, but we planned to meet on Wednesday, which we did, and ended up talking for quite a while.
“Either I have been sent to you to make you fall as a Christian, or for you to lead me to Salvation”, he said to me that day.
I laughed and said I definitely hoped it was the latter.
Needless to say, against my better judgment AGAIN, I spent the best week with this guy. Calls, WhatsApp messages, dates, movies – we watched Black Panther together. He made me feel like a princess – he would pick me up, call me “Gorgeous” – he called me Gorgeous all the time – and I LOVED IT. I was hooked.
He was my drug, my Kryptonite.
Then of course, he wanted to take it to the next level. My flesh desired it but the Holy Spirit – my helper – wouldn’t have it. The battle between flesh and Spirit raged. I knew he was not good for me, because we do not share the same spiritual values, and he wanted something that I was not willing to give because my father in Heaven tells me He does not like fornicators or adulterers – Kryptonite is separated from his wife.
And the battle between my flesh and Spirit was exhausting.
“The sinful nature wants to do evil, which is just the opposite of what the Spirit wants. And the Spirit gives us desires that are opposite of what the sinful nature desires. These two forces are constantly fighting each other, so you are not free to carry out your good intentions”. Galatians 5:17
Needless to say, when the brother finally understood that we were not going to be in a physical relationship, his enthusiasm waned. But I missed all the attention, so from time to time I would reach out to him. He would indulge me, but I could tell his enthusiasm was gone. Other times he would also try his luck to see if we could be physical.
You may wonder why I didn’t just cut him off. I have tried many times but I keep going back. Plus, a woman gets lonely and bored and craves attention. So whenever I crave all this, I find myself reaching out to him.
As I might have mentioned, he is hard to resist.
So the battle continues to rage on, and I constantly have to speak to myself the word of God, and remind myself whose I am.
I can attest to the power of the Holy Spirit because in and of myself I would not have the strength to resist him. But I have decided to live in purity and I continue to pray for God to keep me.
And one day, Kryptonite will no longer have a hold on me.
The writer prefers to remain anonymous.